No News is Good News...I Guess

I had my first real prenatal appointment yesterday. I was super excited about it because I thought they would check for a heartbeat, and I even entertained the idea that they would whip out the ultrasound machine, just for a quick peek, even though there was no real reason to get an ultrasound.

Too bad they did nothing- zilch, nada- that they wouldn't do at a normal non-pregnancy gyno visit. She violated me with her fingers and with her duckbill-looking thing, then she scraped valuable necessary pieces of my cervix off, felt me up inside and out, and sent me on my way bleeding for the remainder of the night, telling me that everything "feels healthy".

She said it was probably too early to hear the heartbeat, actually said I was kind of right on the border between where they could hear it and where it was too early. Luckily, I opted to get the first trimester screening test, which involves bloodwork and an ultrasound, and is supposed to give me an idea as to whether I am at increased risk of having a baby with Down Syndrome. I didn't get that with my first, because my doctor neglected to tell me about it until after the window of time during which the test must be conducted had already passed. But I'm young and low-risk anyway, so I didn't really need it this time either.

But because I have no concrete evidence that there's even a child growing inside me, as opposed to an empty sac or a tumor, or some freak disease that causes positive pregnancy tests but isn't a real pregnancy, I chose to take this test. So I will hopefully be able to see the baby on 2/5.

Which is a lifetime away.

Until then, I have to bide my time and deal with the side effects of this pregnancy/freak disease. So far, I have pregnancy-induced laziness, extreme fatigue, all sorts of disgusting weight gain (which was only really 5-7 pounds but feels like 50 already), and the increasingly occasional bouts of "morning sickness" (which comes all the time and doesn't involve puking for me, but extreme nausea). And unbelievable constipation. Which is probably contributing to those 5-7 pounds.

AND while dealing with all that, I still have to show up for work at 6am to teach step and bodysculpt classes without letting on that I feel like crap and just want to sleep, but still deliver a kick-butt workout to the people in my class who are now just about all lightyears more fitter than I am.